60 Best Wisdom and Inspirational Quotes,Humor Quotes

1. It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer.

—Albert Einstein

2. Eighty percent of success is showing up.

—Woody Allen

3. I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education.

—Wilson Mizner

4. The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance; it is the illusion of knowledge.

—Daniel J. Boorstin

5. The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails.

—William Arthur Ward

6. If you don’t make mistakes, you’re not working on hard enough problems. And that’s a big mistake.

—Frank Wilczek

7. You can never get enough of what you don’t really need.

—Eric Hoffer

8. Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

—Albert Einstein

9. Do not confuse motion and progress. A rocking horse keeps moving but does not make any progress.

—Alfred A. Montapert

10. I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.

—Bill Cosby

11. Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week.

—Spanish Proverb

12. Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.

—Oscar Wilde

13. There is a great difference between worry and concern. A worried person sees a problem, and a concerned person solves a problem.

—Harold Stephens

14. It is easier to fight for one’s principles than to live up to them.

—Alfred Adler

15. I hear: I forget / I see: I remember / I do: I understand

—Chinese Proverb

16. Discipline is just choosing between what you want now and what you want most.

—Unknown Author

17. The very best thing you can do for the whole world is to make the most of yourself.

—Wallace Wattles

18. Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.

—Barry LePatner

19. When I do good, I feel good; when I do bad, I feel bad, and that is my religion.

—Abraham Lincoln

20. Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.

—Winston Churchill

21. If it weren’t for my lawyer, I’d still be in prison. It went a lot faster with two people digging.

—Joe Martin

22. Acquaintance, n.: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.

—Ambrose Bierce

23. I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

—Noel Coward

24. The difference between death and taxes is death doesn’t get worse every time Congress meets.

—Will Rogers

25. You know you’re getting old when you stop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.

—George Burns

26. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

—Groucho Marx

27. Those are my principles. If you don’t like them I have others.

—Groucho Marx

28. Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped.

—Sam Levenson

29. Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum sonatur. (Whatever is said in Latin sounds profound.)

—Unknown Author

30. The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.

—Calvin Trillin

31. The tooth fairy teaches children that they can sell body parts for money.

—David Richerby

32. My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don’t really know me.

—Garry Shandling

33. I don’t deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don’t deserve that either.

—Jack Benny

34. I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.

—Lily Tomlin

35. If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets.

—Mel Brooks

36. If I only had a little humility, I’d be perfect.

—Ted Turner

37. When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

—Henny Youngman

38. The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.

—Groucho Marx

39. Hofstadter’s Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter’s Law.

—Douglas Hofstadter

40. Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger.

—Franklin P. Jones

41. Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school.

—Albert Einstein

42. Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.

—Susan Erz

43. Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.

—Pablo Picasso

44. A genius! For 37 years I’ve practised fourteen hours a day, and now they call me a genius!

—Pablo Sarasate

45. There is nobody so irritating as somebody with less intelligence and more sense than we have.

—Don Herold

46. The bad news is time flies. The good news is you’re the pilot.

—Michael Althsuler

47. The little I know I owe to my ignorance.

—Orville Mars

48. The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.

—George Bernard Shaw

49. In God we trust; all others bring data.

—Dr. W. Edwards Deming

50. The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.

—Mark Twain

51. Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.

—Mark Twain

52. My definition of a free society is a society where it is safe to be unpopular.

—Adlai E. Stevenson Jr.

53. Simple, clear purpose and principles give rise to complex and intelligent behavior. Complex rules and regulations give rise to simple and stupid behavior.

—Dee Hock

54. Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.

—Albert Einstein

55. In preparing for battle I have always found that plans are useless, but planning is indispensable.

—Dwight D. Eisenhower

56. The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.

—Niels Bohr

57. Before you go and criticize the younger generation, just remember who raised them.

—Unknown Author

58. Talent hits a target no one else can hit; Genius hits a target no one else can see.

—Arthur Schopenhauer

59. It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.

—Harry Truman

60. A conclusion is the place where you got tired thinking.

—Martin H. Fischer